I used to think the person you meet in the beginning is who they really are. With him, I learned that sometimes it’s just who they know how to be when they’re trying to win you over.

At first, he was everything you’d want someone to be. He listened, remembered the little things, made me laugh, and made me feel important. I liked him. I liked who I was around him, too. Nothing felt wrong enough to make me question it.

Then he got comfortable.

It happened so slowly that I almost missed it. The attention became inconsistent. The sweet comments turned into little digs. He started talking over me, talking down to me, and saying things he never would’ve risked saying in the beginning. Whenever I started pulling away, the person I first met would suddenly come back.

That was when I understood. The mask wasn’t falling off all at once. It was slipping just enough for me to see what was underneath, then going right back on whenever he thought he might lose me.

For a while, I kept wondering which version of him was real. Eventually, I realized it didn’t matter. I didn’t want a relationship where kindness only showed up when someone was afraid of losing me.

I don’t regret him, though. Because after him, I met someone who completely changed how I understood love. There was no guessing, no walking on eggshells, no wondering when the person I fell for would disappear. The closer we became, the kinder he became. The more comfortable he got, the more of himself he gave me, not less.

Getting comfortable with someone shouldn’t be when the mask comes off. It should be when you realize there was never one there to begin with.